I Need Help…

How do I go about breaking hundreds of hearts including mine? How do I tell all the people who took Ms Shell into their own souls that all the purrs, all the prayers, all the vibes and the vets who struggled over her care couldn’t save her? How do I explain that this wasn’t going to happen, that Shell was basically to sick to live?

Her blood values stayed high, there was no change for the better in any of her blood work. For the past few days, Shell had been sending me messages that I tried so hard to ignore. Not pooping in the pan, hiding under the bed or tucked back into the clothes. Cats don’t hide for no reason.

So the vet and I talked quite extensively. He has always been caring and a straight shooter when it comes to this situation. This is what he said;
“Mary Anne, if she were your one and only, I would fight like the dickens to keep her alive. I would subject her to more stressful treatments and vet visits knowing all the while that as I was fighting, I was not fighting for her but for you.”

And I knew this, deep in my heart, I knew this was going to be the last time I would see Shell. Because even as I denied it visually, my heart wouldn’t let me deny her the dignity she richly deserved in the end, to be let go while arms that loved her held her, and skilled fingers quickly found the right vein to deliver peace.

Goodbye Sweet Shell, thank you for gracing our lives with your presence. I wish I had met you sooner, before the ravages of the disease conquered your mouth and your ability to live with some quality. I got to you to late, but at least you knew before that last breath, that your life DID matter. You knew warm caresses and embraces. You found food to be plentiful and the Zoom Groom became your best buddy. I’m sorry that all we did wasn’t enough. But you pulled together a world of people who never met you and you created a chain of caring that I have never been privy to before.

That is quite a legacy Shell, for a dilute tortie whose skin used to bleed at the slightest pressure and whose legs resembled chopsticks but whose heart and courage, no one could ever measure.

I will miss you Shell, I will miss you Forever~

For all of you who loved her and prayed for her I say thank you.

And in her honor, in her memory, reach out and help the next stray cat you see on the street who looks as if the world might hate her too. Maybe, just maybe, your help and intervention with that neglected cat will come in time, in enough time to matter~

Goodbye Sweet Shell

82 thoughts on “I Need Help…

  1. We are sorry to hear about lovely, sad Shell. She died loved, which is all anyone can ask. We will purr, light a candle and wait for the next kitty to enter our hearts.
    Toby, Cupcake and Kate

  2. No, no, nol This is so sad. The mom here cannot stop with the tears. So many were pulling for her we just thought this would be our miracle. It doesn’t help the hole left in the heart by her leaving but know that forever she is free of the trying illness that life threw at her. She was so lucky to have found you and know your love meant so much for her. You are in my prayers and thoughts. Your friend, Gracie

  3. We are very sorry to hear that Shell had to go to the Bridge. She was so lucky to have found you, and to have known the love you showered her with. Thank you for caring so much, and thank you for loving Shell so much and so well.

    Sending purrs and prayers of comfort to you.

  4. we are crying many tears for you MomMaryAnne. We know that Shell is now whole and happy and waiting for you – and we know that you have a Shell shaped hole in your heart that will always be there – filled with sadness and pain right now but that will be replaced with warm light and the memory of the love you both had for each other. She will always just be a whisper away from you. – Sammy, Miles, Billy, Nicky and MeezerMomMary

  5. o, woe. we are furry sorry to hear that little shell made the trip to the bridge. we blesses you, mama, for the healing an’ joy you gave to her while she was here. an’ we purrs for all kittehs like her to be so blessed wif love an’ affection, an’ vows to help make that come true. she liffs fureffur in our hearts–what better legacy?

    (HUGS) and headbonks–
    ed, nitro, xing, iggy, an’ meower mom

  6. I am very sorry for your loss…my heart is totally broken :( I followed Shell’s story, and was truly hoping she could have known the love you gave her for much longer . I am thankful she doesn’t have to suffer anymore. She is in our thoughts and prayers…can’t wait to see her on the other side…
    Love,
    Lisa
    Tangerine, Kashmir, Bella & Doodle

  7. In your arms, Shell knew she was loved. My anger at the person that made her suffer for years is great, but my heart is eased knowing you tried and cared, as did so many world-wide catbloggers. We know the grief is greatest for you, but the sadness flows over all of us who prayed so hard for her to be able to live.

  8. Mom is in tears. Sometimes the hardest things we do as rescuers is take these animals in knowing we are going to have to let them go again…sometimes to a new family and unfortunately sometimes to cross Rainbow Bridge. As hard as it is, she knew peace and love and safety while with you and that is a wonderful gift that you gave her.

  9. This breaks my heart. You tried so hard and you were so brave. Shell knew love. And I thank you for that.

  10. This is so sad, but there is some happiness in knowing she was loved and warm and cared for at the end. You gave her the best days of her life, and that is no small joy.

  11. So very, very sorry, MA. My heart goes out to you…but please never question any decision you made regarding beautiful Shell. You gave her love and, when the time came, peace. And she leaves behind a legacy for us all – leading us to remember to care for the tiniest, neediest of creatures. She was a strong cat, in her way, able to break down the barriers we learn to build around our hearts. I will never forget Shell, and will always be grateful to you for sharing her with us.

  12. Mom Mary Ann, we are so sad to hear that sweet Shell had to venture on to the Bridge, but we know that you gave her all the love you could while she was with you, and that she gave you all of her love back. This made the short amount of time that you had together more special than words can say. We are sending our most heartfelt purrayers to help you through this sad time …
    ((((Hugs))))
    Sabrina, Sam, Simon and Momma Jan

  13. Oh we are so so so sorry that Shell had to go to the bridge, but we are so glad that she got to experience the love and care that she so deserved during her time with you. We know she felt that love as she left for the bridge. We know how hard it is for you but we also know you made your decision based on what was best for her, instead of subjecting her to treatments and putting her through things that would have just been miserable for her just so you would have her around. It is the kind of selfless decision that we know is so hard to make but it is also the loving decision. I am just in tears that she is gone but in my heart I am so glad she got to have all that love with her that she deserved so much.

  14. So sorry to hear about the loss of sweet Shell. She touch many lives, but she was loved beyond words. The sky is a little brighter tight as I look for her star. RIP Shell. Sniffs, The HoundDogs

  15. Our deepest sympathies on profound loss of dear Shell.
    Through her ordeal she enriched so many and we all learned to love a little more.
    You gave her hope and love and a home.
    And finally you gave her the greatest gift of all.
    From your loving arms to those of the angels.
    She will be long remembered
    For now she is whole, healthy and running free from pain.

    xoxoxoxo
    Abby,Boo,Ping,Jinx, Gracie
    & Mom Debra

  16. May the memories of love outweigh the grief of loss. She was blessed with love and caring not just from you but from the world. I know that she is now purring from the Summerland with a new body free from pain, waiting for the day is reunited.

    The Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitty Horde & their Feeders

  17. Poor little Shell, I am so sorry or your loss. You tried so hard to save this precious being. I am so glad you found her so that her last days were filled with love and the many prayers that were sent her way!

  18. Oh I am so so sorry that it had to end like this for Shell. You did the right thing, she suffered so much even though she seemed to make a bit of progress. At least she had your love with her in the end. God Bless you for taking her in and giving it all you had. I know the whole catblogosphere has been in tears over this. Thank You.

  19. We are so sorry that Shell left for the Bridge. We hope you take comfort in knowing she took all the love and caring you gave her over that Rainbow Bridge to wait for you. Bless you for all you did for her.

    We are comforted daily knowing there are people like you in the world. ((hugs)) We are sorry for loss.

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  21. Oh, shell, the rainbow bridge will be brighter with you there bringing all the grace and beauty you have. I am so sorry for your loss, though. Cat comforters like you are few and far between. Hearts as big as yours need to know that shell really needed you to be in her life and to care for you as you did. April showers are not always bad. Sometimes they are heaven cats’ tears of gratitude for your care.

    (Hugs) That said, though, please accept my condolences on your loss. I know it is devastating for you.

  22. Sweet Shell..you made such a difference to your human family. By now you have proably met my sweet beloved kitties at the rainbow. You guys will have so much fun chasing and hunting mice together.

    Fly high sweet one!

  23. I have really enjoyied reading your well written article. It looks like you spend a lot of effort and time on your blog. I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles. Keep up the good work!

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  25. You are an animal angel, fair lady. Even tho beautiful Shell (RIP) was too sick to live, because of you and the other beautiful souls who tried to help, she knew love and care before she died, and there’s nothing more important than that. Rest in peace sweet Shell xx

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