I know that I wrote that I would put every medicine in this boy to keep him alive, but he was fading regardless. Yesterday, I made the conscious decision to just not give him anything but love, food and water for him to take on his own, and to keep those vaporizers going. And for a brief moment, this kitty who had been lying in the same spot for two days, came out after I left and ate a bit, pooped and peed. Then he returned to the same spot.
I went in later, elated to see he was eating and using the pans. I was in the room cleaning up talking to him and he didn’t peek his head out of the cage. I didn’t reach in to love on him- I just let him be.
He finally came out right before I was leaving and he snagged the bottom of my jeans. I turned around and bent down to pet him. His tail was low-switching from side to side and his eyes were so full of fluids- but he looked at me and he said, please enough. I can’t do this anymore.
As I pet him, I noticed his body, his tail was covered in slime. There comes a time when you have to step out of the situation and take a hard look at a cat and wonder about the quality of life. This cat at one time mattered to someone enough to be chipped. But somewhere along the way, someone stopped caring, or they moved and in the chaos he escaped and found himself on the streets fighting to survive.
Whatever he has- it is kicking his brown little butt and I am waiting for the proper time this morning to call Vicki and ask her to end his suffering. I believe she knows I will be calling. It is not a phone call I want to make nor is it one she wants to receive.
I am sorry that he isn’t strong enough to kick this, I am sorry I am not wise enough to actually talk to him and ask him what is wrong with him. But I have seen this look before and he is tired, and his body is worn down. It is time for him to find that place where pain is not an issue, where he can run and fly and connect with others before him and others just like him.
I sent the hardest email this morning to the man who found him and brought him to me. It has been requested that I have Zavan cremated and returned to the gentleman who could not ignore this skinny, wet black and brown kitty that caught his eye as he drove by.
So in the end, not only in my home, and in all of your thoughts but in the heart of this kind-hearted man- Zavan MATTERED and I will tell him that before the needle finds its place and Zavan flies to heaven.
I write this in total tears and sobs, we were all pulling for our chocolate love. I know how hard this is for you to do, but am glad that you have the courage and wisdom to know when it is time. Bless you Mary Ann and Zavan little guy, go play free on the bridge.
So so sad to hear about this precious baby boy! Praying that the Lord enfold him in his loving arms and make him whole again. God bless you Mary Ann for all that you!
We are so sorry – we know that Zavan did matter. And we know that he will be warmly greeted across the Bridge where he will be well again. In the meantime, he was rescued by a nice man and knew love and comfort and safety with you – and matter enough to have someone care to let him go in peace. purrs….
Zavan you were loved. Run free without pain now little man.
Thank you Mary Anne for all you did for him.
I’m so sorry.. but he will leave this world knowing love and kindness. Never underestimate the power of kindness. You can’t save them all, but you can send them to the bridge knowing they left their pawprints on your heart. Thank you for caring.
I am sorry he couldn’t fight this – sometimes We are not destined to save them, only to ensure they have love and warmth, and allowed to be released with dignity rather than going cold, lonely and in pain.
Yes, you did all you could but it was clear poor Zavan was just too far gone when he got to your loving care. I agree, too, about just letting him be and not stressing him out more by the forced feeding, etc.
More importantly, I agree to tell them that their life mattered. I’ve said that to a number of stray cats that I’ve had to eventually have put down. I tell them their life mattered and it was an honor taking care of them and getting to know them, even if it was for a short time.
You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am crying, too. Zavan touched many hearts.
Mary Anne, so sorry about this news from your sweet Zavan. He will be greeted by your other precious kitties that you have lost in recent months.
He will tell Shell, Fiona , Donavan & others that he just left your loving arms
& you still are the best kitty Mama ever.Bless you for all that you do.