More than a New Year’s Resolution

Mike has suffered some setbacks in his legs and now we face some serious issues regarding his health. I kept telling his doctor (a GP) that something was wrong with Mike’s legs. I wrap them daily with soft gauze and ace bandages, but every time I sent him to the Dr he just looked at me like I was nuts and try to patiently explain to me: “Mrs. Miller, this is how some diabetic’s legs look.”

So a few days ago when I unwrapped my husband’s legs so he could take a shower, I was met with an awful stench and to my dismay necrotic tissue. I rushed him back to the same Dr. and this time, the Dr. paid attention. He sent us immediately to a surgeon who sent us to a wound care specialist and here is the gist of the issue.

Mike’s legs are a mess. Because of his weight and lack of circulation to his legs, his legs swell horribly, the leak and they bleed and they smell. As they swell, the ace bandages will cut into his skin (which is the equivalent now of tracing paper) and cause wounds. Sometimes, I will end up with the velcro on the back of his legs, so once again there is pressure sores forming and wounds. If there are any wrinkles in the ace bandages then again, we have cuts in his skin and wounds forming. It’s all pretty nasty and very scary.

So after three visits with three different doctors, this is the bottom line. Mike has been challenged to lose a pound a day. IF he does not lose this weight, he will lose either one leg or the possibility of both legs or even his life. Talk about scary. The new specialist (who I love) is older, he is very nice but very direct and he got tough with Mike. After he explained about the ace bandages cutting the legs, I started to cry and excused myself from the room. He followed me out and asked me why I was crying? I told him I didn’t mean to cause my husband this pain and trauma to his legs. He leaned in really close to me, put his hands gently on my shoulders and said: “Mrs. Miller, YOU did not cause this. The problem that exists is entirely your husband’s fault. His life choices he’s made up to this point, you are bearing the consequences. Do not put this on your shoulders. All you can do is your best. No one can change another individual. Then he walked back into the room.

Mike will now be going to wound care four times a week which I am so relieved about as I don’t want to continue to care for such damaged legs. I did tell the surgeon that I wish the GP had listened to me months ago, and the Dr. rolled his eyes and said he wished that as well.

I hope this turns out to be the catalyst that will put Mike on the slow road to health. Nothing so far has seemed to make a difference, nothing I’ve said or done seems to sink in to him. I guess as time passes we will find out if Mike can beat this and at least save his legs if not his life. Now, I need to write a very difficult email to Mike’s kids and let them know what is going on without ruining their holiday-

6 thoughts on “More than a New Year’s Resolution

  1. Oh dear. What a very bad, no good, horrible situation. At least Mike is now getting the care that he needs.

    In addition to the wound specialist will Mike have appointments with a nutritional counselor, a physical therapist? Can he exercise at all – sit and lift a can of tomatoes or something?

    Don’t understand how the doctor expects him to lose a pound a day. It’s calories consumed vs calories burned. A deficit of 500 calories / day is good for about a pound a week, and that’s with modest exercise.

    You take good care of him, good care of the cats. Remember to take good care of yourself, especially at this stressful time. With good wishes and peaceful thoughts from one of your devoted readers.

  2. When Mike was leaving for the surgeon’s last year to find out what they decided to do regarding his foot. He fell in the driveway and unknown to us at the time, he broke both his legs in the fall. When we got to Dr. Linn’s office, I told the girl about the fall and so they ran films and found that Mike had broke (in his bad leg) his femur, severed most of the tendons in his foot and the ligaments in his leg. He also broke his toe. On his other leg, he severed the tendons on his ankle and foot so a 4 hour surgery (previously planned) turned into an almost 8 hour ordeal as they did resections of the tendons and put steel plates and pins in his leg and foot. The result is his feet now turn outward and if he walks without his therapeutic boot, he can only walk on the edges of his feet. Even with the boots, walking is difficult for him because he tends to fall ( a lot). He can’t even walk to the back door to let the dog out. So exercise isn’t a real possibility for him. I have even investigated home exercise equipment but he has no strength in his legs, arms or hands. His hands shake constantly and he can’t hold things for long before they go crashing to the floor. The dog likes that part! LOL

    I believe the surgeon was making a point and not telling me to starve my husband. Because of his glucose levels, if I did starve him to the point that he would lose a pound a day- and really? Who can really do that? His blood sugar would drop so low he would likely fall into a coma.

    Instead, I am opting to feeding him small amounts of food most of the day to keep him going but not giving him a feast to gobble down. It’s a learning process, and the first night, his blood dropped so low he couldn’t recognize me. I quickly gave him some egg nog and he was okay in a few minutes. So now, I am just trying to get him to change his destructive eating habits. He comes from a dysfunctional family when it comes to food. He was beaten if he didn’t eat everything on his plate. He tells me stories about his sister holding him down on the ground, while his mom beat him with a piece of firewood for not eating his oatmeal! Having met his family before they died, I could believe they would do such a sick thing.

    But everyone has issues with family both past and present and you just have to deal with it the best you can and not repeat past mistakes. I just hope for him, this intervention isn’t coming to little to late.

  3. I’m not sure. His feet won’t fit on a regular excercycle because they swell so much, plus he now has ulcers on the sides of his feet complicating matters. He might be able to use it with his hands though. I will have to check it out. Thanks for pointing it out to me.

  4. Keeping Mike and yourself in my prayers. I pray that the good Lord will continue to enfold you both in his loving arms.

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