His ears weren’t open yet, so he only felt his mom’s purr. His eyes were also shut so he never saw the loving looks humans gave him. I held him this morning as he took his final gasp of air. Mom cried once when he took his last breath, then she turned her attention to the other littermates nestled at her belly.
For the last few days, she has been nudging him away from her. I would try to feed him, but he was unable to suckle. Drops of formula in his milk, just stayed in his mouth. He was to weak to swallow. Just recently she tried to do him in the way that cats do: by stepping on him intentionally, laying down on him or squishing him near the wall. I would rescue him every time but she would become anxious and go over to the box and the heating pad and bring him back, then do it all over again. He never had a chance. Some moms know best and then the human side of me has to back down and understand that he was failing and should have never put his paws on the ground in the first place.
This morning when I went in to check on the litter, he was lying far away from the rest. I picked him up gently, he gave one small squeak and a gasp and was gone. His rectum had blood in it. I buried him in the long grasses and told him I was sorry. He was the runt of the litter and sometimes only the strongest survive. My hands were tied, I could not take him anywhere else to keep him safe because of the distemper outbreak. I did all I could but it just wasn’t enough.
Then I took Mike to his appointment and I had a bad feeling all the way up to Portland. I could smell his legs from where I was sitting and he had been complaining of pain (rare for him) for the last week. When they unwrapped him, I knew why he was complaining. His legs were infected- badly. For the first time, the surgeons came in and talked to us about amputation of both legs. He wants to fight to keep his legs and so for now, that is the route they will take. The surgeons do not believe that amputation is the answer for now. We made them promise if it ever comes to that (and I pray it doesn’t) they will tell us right off that there are no other options. They said they would do that.
So he is in the hospital again with badly infected legs- wounds so deep that I shuddered when they unwrapped all the casings he was in. He will be there for awhile.
The bright spot in this day lay at the end when Lil’ Squirts owner contacted me and I was able to bring him home. His two littermates were glad to see him and I could tell that yes, he belonged with Paula and her family.
Oh my gosh that is so sad about lil John, I hope that the rest of them make it. Life was hard on the Mom which made it even harder for the babies. I know you are heartsick over his passing. Poor Mike, I feel so bad for you both. So much turmoil for you, I will pray for you to have strength and faith that this will be ok and God is with you.
Sometimes when animal-mothers push away their children, they don’t know what we humans can do for them. Other times, they know we can do nothing. That must have been the case with Li’l John. I wish it had been otherwise. It’s tough when you know them, when they have names. Godspeed, Li’l John.
I was hoping so much that Mike’s legs were on the mend. It sounded so positive earlier. Good luck to Mike; I wish at least improvement for him; at most, recovery.
God never gives us more than we can handle but you’ve just had so much for so long. I pray that Mike will get better without surgery, and I am so sorry the tiniest kitten didn’t make it.
Sometimes all we can do is put one foot in front of the other..
Oh MaryAnne so sorry to hear about Mike. I pray for healing from above without having to go through surgery. Just hang in there dear friend.