If someone had told me months ago that I would let some of my core kitties go to other homes, I might have slapped them. But with the departure of Riley, Hurricane Charlie and Everest, my strongest Alphas, the house is now settling down and the cats are figuring out who is in control. So far, two have stepped up to the plate; Tandem and Bayer both black cats. Bayer is a year old and Tandem is around the same. One male, one female. My money is on Tandem, she seems to have the stronger presence right now and seeks out the highest spots in the house. She ousted Fiona the other day. Fiona growing tired of all the meds I pushed down her throat and her recent vet visit had retired to the top of the world’s tallest cat condo on our patio (16 feet tall) She was up there in the crows nest sleeping when Tandem ran up the poles and whapped her on the nose. (I was nearby sorting laundry) Fiona growled, but Tandem stood her ground and soon Fiona made her way to a lower perch. I swear Tandem winked at me. That has been her favorite sleeping spot since.

I talked to the gentleman who took my core kitties and he couldn’t be more pleased with them. He is moving them out of the one building and putting them in his garage (heated) that is right under his home! He has a beautiful estate, he is far from the rush of traffic and his nearest neighbor is five miles away. His home is surrounded by forest and I know these cats are very happy in their new home even if I still cry about their departure. But the bottom line is if the cats go outside here, they are in danger of being hit by a car. Ever since the county came in and took a big chunk of our property to widen the road- the road has claimed a lot of kitties. Loving them, rescuing them and worrying about them doesn’t mean they need to stay here. I want them here, but a larger part of me wants them safe and loved. Here, I cannot guarantee they will be safe should they get outside.

So the house settles with two fighting to be in ultimate control although these skirmishes quiet whenever Baker makes his appearance. Baker is semi-feral and when he decides to come in the house (he has lived with us now for ten years) you can tell that He is the Alpha. That’s when the real fights break out and I have to step in and say “Hey Guys, remember me? I’m the one in control!”

When you are behind on a payment, they never let you forget it. The phone just keeps ringing. Sometimes, there is just dead air, or perhaps a person trying hard to speak English but failing miserably. You can talk till you are blue in the face but unless you can come up with the required payment, they keep hounding you.

This morning at 4:00 a.m. they called me! I could have exploded in anger, after-all they woke me up. They wouldn’t listen to what I was saying so finally in desperation this is what I said to this persistent bill collector:

“You know, I really want to thank you for calling me today. Your job must really be difficult at times. If you would like, I would be happy to pray with you right now so that God gives your the strength to handle such a challenging job!”

…….”Click!”

Perhaps it was poor judgement on my part to forgo making a car payment and pay instead for Fiona’s ear surgery. But it is over and done with and hopefully after today’s experience, so are the annoying phone calls!

By all intents and purposes, Axle appears to be just fine. The FS believes he either had just been really bruised or I cracked one of his ribs. He is playing with the other cats, eating on his own, drinking water. The only behavior I haven’t observed is the litterbox. I haven’t been home to monitor him and I don’t have an empty room or a place to put him that would show me he is using the pan.

I will talk to the vet tomorrow and see what she advises me to do. Hopefully, this was all just a bad scare and he is back to his fiesty normal self.

i am just plain wore out. everything just hit me all at once; Fiona’s surgery and questionable future, letting go of 4 of my core kitties, the accident with Axle. A few minutes ago when i trudged upstairs to be sure Fiona was still wearing her Trimline collar and give her another round of meds, i found my legs refused to move one more step and i sat on the top stairs and the tears i have been holding back came flooding out.

All this worry, over Mike, the cats, my dad, my job has just done me in. I need a vacation- as if I could ever take more than a couple days away from all my responsibilities.
I am not feeling sorry for myself, I move past crisis, grief, sadness, whatever by writing. After Jeremy died, I found comfort at putting pen to paper and writing my son letters every year about what I believe we might have shared together had not God called for him much sooner than I planned. It is in writing out my thoughts, charting my days that I can move through the chaos that sometimes clouds my head. I still have all my journals of my life- I started journaling when I was eight years old. Mike used to laugh when he saw the boxes in the attic taped up tightly and labeled with the years of my life. He said I should write a book one day it would be a best seller- that may be true- but the book will be about my life’s work with these cats and nothing else.

Right now, I am starting to feel better. It just somehow works to push past the garbage and bring words to light about what ails me.

And now, i need to go because Mike needs his shot. His fingers don’t work much anymore and he can’t give his insulin shot to himself. Here is to tomorrow with Promise and Axle having a few cracked ribs or something that won’t claim his life- Tomorrow there is always promise in Tomorrows.

I just got back from the vet, they suspect he has a Traumatic Diaphragmatic Hernia. There is no coming back from this injury folks. The surgery is expensive, it is arduous, the recovery rate is months and “usually” a kitten doesn’t make it off the table. My “accident” has caused his bowel to be pushed into his chest- or so they suspect. They suspect this type of injury based on his inappetence and fever (104). He wouldn’t eat anything they offered him. He has been given pain meds, and a shot and he is on 48 hour watch. I need him to eat, to drink and for his fever to go down. Any of these signs would cancel out what they now suspect might be wrong with him.

Please pray for Axle- he really needs candles going and prayers flying- This is the kitty abandoned with his sister in a van for five days no food and no water. Pray that he doesn’t have this horrible injury. I will know by Monday. If he doesn’t improve-I am sad to report he’ll have a date to keep with an angel.

A few days ago, I accidentally stepped on Axle’s belly. He was asleep under my hassock and it was dark. My blanket was draped over the hassock and I stepped into the blanket and then I heard him moan and felt the squish under my foot. I screamed and backed up quickly,scooped him up and he seemed okay, just a bit miffed.

I have been watching him and today I saw signs that something is indeed wrong. He moaned when he jumped off the bottom of the cat condo and when I walked toward him he hissed. 🙁 He growled but I caught him up anyway and carried him into the bedroom and put him in the large cage. he will go to the vet in the morning. he doesn’t seem to feel like eating on his own though he licked babyfood off my fingers- he has food, water and litter pan in his cage, but all he is doing is laying in one spot.

I am so sad- I didn’t mean to hurt him. This has been such a sad day for me with the new homes for the kitties and now this.

This morning, I will say goodbye to four cats who I have had (or so it seems) forever. Hurricane Charlie, Everest, Cole and Riley are all traveling to a new home in South Salem.

The new place is being overrun by mice and the owner is fit to be tied. He wants cats who are good hunters but he also wants socialized cats that won’t run from being petted. Therefore, it fell on my group to fill the requirement.

I shall miss each one of these cats- especially my TerrorHist Hurricane Charlie. Yes, he has been a problem child from the very beginning, but he has small kitty syndrome and he stays tough so no one takes advantage of him. One plus with this new home (besides the heated garage where the cats will live) is that it is far far away from roads. Charlie is afraid of roads and cars and I know he will be terrified traveling.

I am trying to keep the tears at bay as I gather carriers and stuff them with blankets and toys. But these cats are going to a far better place and it is time to say goodbye. They are my best mousers and I know they will love the hunt once they adjust to not having me around in their life.

Fiona is definitely altered now. Instead of hissing, spitting and swearing at my ancestors, she is acting very much like a kitten in heat. When I go in to see how she is doing, she raises her rump high in the air ducks her head down and begs to be petted a loved. She was spayed years ago so this behavior is a bit puzzling- unless it is the pain causing her to do this?

I took her trimline collar off this morning and she ate and drank and then I brushed her to try to get her calm. She kept wanting to duck back into her tent, but I persisted. I didn’t want her to think that only bad stuff (putting the collar back on- giving her meds etc..) happen to her outside the tent.

They gave me some pain meds for her V.A. L. Syrup and Buphoperine which she hates. But there is a sedative in it and she should sleep. Poor kitty, I hope when she finally gets all those drugs out of her system she will be back to the Fiona I know. I am almost sorry now that I put her through all of this. 🙁

She won’t come out of her tent I made her, I think lights really hurt her eyes so I changed the wattage to a lower setting and will use nightlights later. I have to work today, this is my only shift this pay period, so at least I will be home with her to watch her the rest of the week. Mike can’t climb the stairs anymore so she will be on her own till later tonight.

My heart is heavy since being told that the vet found mast cells in the smear from one of Fiona’s lumps. I’ll not pull the plug on her. I will monitor her for additional signs of lumps in the next coming month. The vet says that when this type of cancer returns, it often attacks the spleen.

Tomorrow morning, Fiona goes in to have three lumps taken off her ears. I do know after dealing with Twirl and her squamous cell cancer, that what Fiona has isn’t that nasty type of cancer. But, it could be mast cell, or the lumps will hopefully be declared as benign.

I had to stall the neuters of Puzzle and Riddle because of the cost of the surgery for Fiona- but I believe her lumps take precedent over the spay and neuter.

I feel badly for her as she never really has been allowed to have a life- she is my birdcage kitty. She doesn’t like being in the car, in the carrier or at the vet’s but he is very kind with her.

Please send up your prayers for her tomorrow.