I am not sure how this is happening, but it is. The doors are slowly opening for me to attend a woman’s retreat the second week in October.

I am truly at a crisis of faith at this point in my life. I was a strong Christian back in the day, even being one of those annoying Bible thumpers on the piers telling people about the saving grace of God. Then, my son died and instead of my faith being strengthened, it fell completely apart and I hit rock-bottom at the age of 22 when I had to have a total hysterectomy.

In retrospect, I got angry with God for all the wrong reasons and my life turned into a horrible direction of addiction to so many unhealthy things. Four years later, I pulled myself out of the muck and mire, divorced my husband, found a great job and re-established my relationship with God.

I met Mike not soon after and he is a Godly, loving man- but then we moved to a town that is spiritually dead in so many ways and I lost the treasure known as daily fellowship.

That is probably it in a capsule and now I have an opportunity to attend a Woman of Faith retreat. I know we are stretched financially and we owe so many creditors so much money- but I feel if I don’t go to this- I could implode and that is the basic truth.

Losing the cats and kittens this year, seeing my husband decline so steadily and then the frosting on the cake, the phone call this week where the doctor told me based on the recent tests they have run on Mike, he stands a 67% chance of developing Alzheimers- my soul broke open and I wept to God to take me back as I cannot do this alone.

I feel selfish insisting to my husband that I need this. I can’t even begin to remember when he and I went somewhere together alone- the last visit was to my family a few years ago, and that was no picnic and certainly no vacation.

But my soul feels as bare as the wind on the desert- and the opportunity to meet with women of power that are also spirit-filled just puts a smile in my heart.

I know that leaving MIke to take care of things in my two-day absence is tricky. I hope he will forgive me for this “perk.” But I really need to get back to my center again. I do not like who I am right now at this time.

God has provided a cheap price on a hotel room-and one of my girlfriends also may be going which will defray the cost of gas. I am excited and scared for this to come about- because I do not know what the aftermath will be. What if Mike falls while I am gone? What if our bills can’t be met this month- what happens then? All these thoughts fly through my head, while at work they have knocked me down to just one day a week! That hurts big time- so is this Satan’s way of trying to stop me, or is it God saying that this just isn’t a good time? I am stepping out on faith and praying it is just an obstacle put in front of a blessing.

Time will tell-

I am also waiting for word if Leslie wants Fiona or not. She so deserves to be in a home where they can dote on her.

Fiona, my calico girl who was unfortunately kept in a birdcage for many weeks when she was a kitten has a potential home. I will be taking her up to meet Leslie tomorrow and I hope Leslie falls in love with this sweet girl as I have.

I just returned from taking Tyson over to a potential adopters home. Understandably, he was scared being in a new place with strange sounds and smells. The lady held him and at first he struggled, but then he started to relax. Then, her two year old daughter came in- and well, as most of you know, two-year olds are not very quiet- so he started struggling. I ended up taking him from her and he snugged down into my arms and told me that he wanted to go home.

She wasn’t feeling him- that is what she said, so he is home again and in line for the next potential family.

Oh well, I tried. But I have reservations about adopting kittens out to families with small kids- that is usually a disaster waiting to happen. Especially with kids under six years of age.

To destroy the trust that Tandem had in me. Her lump had to be investigated because it was so large- but that one visit has set us both back to day one of her arrival here.

Now when I approach her, she narrows her eyes and contemplates her chances of escape. If I reach for her, she backs away hissing and growling and it breaks my heart. I had to capture her last night to see if the lump has diminished in size- it hasn’t. The vet said it would be three or four weeks before the reaction to the vaccine will vanish, but still, you would think it would at least start to shrink.

I know one thing, I dearly miss my dance partner….

Most people understand that outside kitties don’t have a very easy life. Bringing them inside can sometimes result in destruction of property as the cats claw their way up walls and spray in front of doors in a desperate attempt to flee. They could care less about the carpeted cat condos, plush cat beds or litter boxes because their call to be outdoors is strong and not to be ignored.

FelineFurniture has recognized that these cats are unhappy indoors and they have launched a new line of furniture offering the cats a chance of tasting the comforts of home while being able to stay outdoors.

The furniture is made of stout, untreated lodgepole pine, the hammocks are made of the same material found in sun umbrellas. Sturdy doesn’t even come close to describing this set. Durable, functional, and hardy.

The set has been in my backyard for a few days and the barn cats are enjoying all the comforts of home without having to deal with the stress of being indoors. The poles are withstanding the daily assault of claws and teeth. At night, they cuddle up on the hammocks together and I find them still together in the morning when I go to feed.

The upper wooden platforms are perfect for setting up a bowl of food and one bowl of water.

Not only do my cats love this set, but I love it as well. All you need for installation is an electric screwdriver as all holes are pre-drilled.

Give your outdoor cats this great taste of home living- order information can be found here:

Catio Furniture

Here is an excerpt of a book called The Orphans of Katrina– if it doesn’t hit you directly in the heart, then I fear you don’t have a soul….

“While some Gulf residents will search for their cherished pets a few families returned afraid of the pets
they left behind. Afraid their now dying pets would make them sick from the deadly toxins they ingested or cost them a fortune in vet bills. For some Katrina evacuees pets were never much more than an inconvenience.Leibchen was barely able to lift her head when owners returned so they dragged her to the trash outside to be hauled to the city dump. She was discarded like other wet debris – a home she starved in alone for seven weeks.A concerned neighbor noticed the dog still alive and alerted the owners who told her not to worry. The dog would dead by morning.The dog was rescued however and lived for a short time with food, shelter and dignity.

This is one reason I personally believe that so many pet owners people are dealing with illnesses and health issues in their pets never before encountered. The transportation of all these homeless animals, many done in panic without proper vet checks or health certificates to places all over the country has served as a hotbed of germs and bacteria thanks to this storm.

I can’t imagine knowing a monster storm was coming and having all these animals counting on me to help them out. I think in my case, as transport of over a dozen cats (28 currently) would be next to impossible- I would throw open the doors of the enclosures- put tons of food everywhere thinkable that would get these cats through it and then hunker down in the house hiding from everyone and praying we would endure. I couldn’t abandon them- I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did that. But I also couldn’t keep them shut inside for their “protection” Not once the winds started howling.

Both Brook and Tandem went to the vet’s tonight. They took films of Brook’s back legs and found that she has two blown kneecaps after all. Not much can be done for her, and the vet said even if thousands of dollars fell from the sky, he wouldn’t recommend the three thousand dollar surgery because the injury is to old, and so is she. Because of her obesity she is a poor surgical risk- so the plan is to continue with her losing weight and take her swimming whenever possible- though it is getting colder and lake visits are starting to be out of question.

Tandem had developed a large lump on the back of her head. It was worrisome but I didn’t think it was an abscess because it was cool to the touch, plus I could squeeze it and she wouldn’t react. Turns out it is a reaction from the vaccines we gave her- not the worrisome sarcoma that can crop up- thank God, but a benign lump that will go away in about two weeks.

As I was sitting in the waiting room, I was wondering what I was doing there? It was my only day off and I had a million other things to do today. Then a lady came in and sat down and started talking to me. It became clear that she wanted to adopt a kitten- so Barnum is going to go home with her on Saturday. She is a good client of my vet’s and he said he would have no qualms in adopting a kitten out to her. She wanted an orange kitty- a boy that was mellow. Barnum is indeed the answer to her prayers.

Something is telling me that we are going to be skipping Fall entirely and going straight into a hard winter. I generally don’t start snugging down the enclosure until after Halloween, but something is pressing me hard inside to do it and do it NOW.

So today, I spent the entire day cleaning up the enclosure and throwing out some of the old furniture in there. I am supposed to get some new furniture for kitties this week from feline furniture so that is timely. I tacked down plastic over the entire half of the enclosure- I didn’t want to turn it into a sauna, but the winds can sure whip about and cause the kitties to huddle up for warmth. The kittens have been going through the tunnel lately and staying out in the enclosure, so now they will be a bit warmer.

It may not make a spread in Home Beautiful, but it will work to safeguard the crew against what I fear is going to be a long, hard winter.

Brook thinks I am neglecting her. I haven’t taken her the lake all weekend, but it is a holiday weekend and I am sure the park is busy and full. I will take her after the holidays, and then will have to find something else to do with her since the lake water is going to get cold soon. I don’t know if she has lost anymore weight- I am trying to stay away from the vets as much as possible. I’ve been there to much lately.

Just finished Joel Rosenburg’s book Dead Heat and once I started it, I couldn’t put it down. it is so intense and although written a few years ago, he has nailed the political agenda in the head in this book. Now, I want to get all his books- especially The Last Jiihad.

Charlie is such a character. He has a passion for pens and although he could technically be called my muse, he does very little writing on his own. Yet, the little scamp has now become so bold that when I am actually writing in my journal (do people still do hard copy journals) I know that I do. Charlie will sneak up, whap the pen out of hand and when it drops to the ground if I am not quick enough to catch it, he grabs it and takes off either upstairs or through the tunnel. He is so funny. I think he pushes them under the couches or under the fridge, because after he takes them- I never see the pen again.

I suspect if he were a cougar, he would steal the keyboard!

Yesterday, bright and early I found myself at Urgent Care. Around 2:00 a.m. I woke up to a burning pain in my eye. When I opened my left eye, all I saw was a black mass near my face. One of the black kitties had clawed me in the eye.

The doctor gave me a shot, renewed my tetanus and took me off work for three days-yeah right! He put me on antibiotics and a steriod type of eye drop that burns when I apply it. You know, I have had cats claw me in the middle of the night usually they hook me in the nose, but never in the eye!

I feel better today and I will be going to work today and tomorrow then I have four days off which I can use right now. I can feel my eye all the time it feels like pressure and I am watching it for nasty drainnage or more redness or any heat as I am well aware of cat scratch fever. the doctor said he only tipped me with his claws, he didn’t puncture any of the lining of the eye. The only thing I can think of is something must have scared him in the middle of the night. When I laid down to sleep, seven cats climbed on me to settle down for the night- to find the one who scratched me would be an undertaking as they were all black.