Just wanted to say to those of you who “might” have seen the posting of “oh So Close” I found a way to secure the new truck. I sold Mike’s “Songpile” this morning. That’s what he called his longboard, exotic lumber that he collected over the years: Myrtlewood, mahogany, Zebrawood etc.. He used to say that he only bought wood that sang to him. It was a bittersweet sale, but I am now the proud owner of a 2006 Ford Expedition! Those of you who did read my posting, please forgive me for posting it. It was out-of-line.

Link is again in trouble. He keeps falling over and I am not sure why. I am supremely worried about him because of this cold snap, because this morning, when I went out to the pasture (WARNING GRAPHIC INFO APPROACHING)

I found Mystic, she was frozen solid and she was gone. But, what was really strange was that her left rear leg was missing?!!! There was no wound, no hole, no nothing- just a leg gone??? I don’t know what happened to her- was she dying and she froze and a raccoon snapped her leg off? She had all claws intact on her remaining leg- no road marks, no nothing, she was just gone. It was 22 degrees last night. She was a kitty that showed up years ago and just would come and go to eat. I talked to my vet, but he had no clue either. I am sad she came to this end, and now, not having seen Link in a week- I wonder if he too is in trouble under the house. Tomorrow, despite my bum knee and bad foot, I am crawling under the house to try and find him and get him to the vet yet again.

First of all, thank you to those who pitched in to cover Link’s care. He is still growling and swearing at me, but I am hoping in time after his neuter really kicks in, that will change. He still won’t touch dry even when I put tuna juice or water on it, but he inhales the canned food three times daily. So thank you again-

Well, the team is leaving on Tuesday! It will be so nice to get back to an almost normal life again. The cats will be more settled (I hope) I know it will take time- but it was so worth it.

Here are before and after pics of my home. Please don’t judge me to harshly on the before pics. Taking care of Mike all those years, took a toll not only on me, but on my house. As this house has changed, I have found healing among the rooms. Gone are the old painful memories of him falling, bleeding all over the place. The wheelchair scruff marks on the wall are gone- the house is beautiful now and so much more welcoming. I think I mentioned before that Mike liked all the dark stuff (dark paneling) dark curtains. I am embracing the light!

I hope you enjoy the photos, if you are ever in the area, I welcome you over for coffee!

I feel like a true miracle has taken place between these walls. The next phase will be tackling the living room and the carport and fixing the perimeter fence. But it will be awhile until that happens. I just want to stop, relax, and get my cats back to their happy place before bringing more chaos into our lives.

Please pray for my contractor Richard. He has a lump on his neck that they recently biopsied and told him it was not benign. He will have surgery on the 19th and then depending on what they find when they get in there, he will have some intense rounds of radiation. His wife is having a lot of trouble with this news, but Richard is a beautiful Christian, strong in his faith and so if you can just pray that the surgeon’s hands remain steady and his mind sharp during the procedure, I am sure the family would appreciate it.

A few weeks ago, a mackeral tabby showed up here at the feeders. He/she looked so emaciated, but was unwilling to go into any trap. The cat would come to feed and hang his head over the dry food trays but be unable to eat. The cat was drinking lots of water and inhaling down wet food.

After a few false attempts, I managed to trap him (by this time, I could see the evidence of a Tom) in one of my larger dog kennels. I rushed him to the vet, where they discovered that he was a senior boy that someone had removed all of his teeth! They estimated his age about 14 and he only weighed 7 pounds!

I am calling this new boy Link. He will be on canned food only at least 4 times a day to start. I hope to see him gain weight pretty soon. He is full feral so it is going to be tricky to keep him contained as we have only one custom cage left standing after the demo. Poor boy, someone owned him at one time. They did determine that the teeth were deliberately removed and he didn’t lose them to malnutrition. He was not chipped.

I wrote them a check to cover the expenses and would find out later that a check sent to me in the mail did not clear. We really need $40.00 ASAP before we go NSF. I called my vet and they were quite understanding, but the check has already been deposited. I am a bit stressed about it all.

Although, the vets have no clue why Pigeon suddenly shut down all his systems, he has been on IV fluids, painkillers and anti-inflammatories since entering into their care. This morning, he finally had a pooping victory and now he is home! He is no longer dehydrated, he is eating (with the help of an appetite stimulant) and he is drinking water. When I let him out of the carrier into one of the upstairs rooms, he leapt out of the carrier right up to my chest and wrapped his paws around my neck. He’s a bit thinner than I remember him to be, but he dumped a lot of love on me in a very short time.

The loving, hard head bumps and the massive purring event he showed to me, allowed me to relax, he is going to be okay.

Wouldn’t you know it? Started the year with zero vet debt for the first time in I don’t know how long, and now we owe $474.45. There is only $18.50 currently in our Kitty, so thankfully, they just put it on our account. Didn’t think the zero vet debt would last very long- but was hoping it might at least extend over to March!

Sweet boy started dry-heaving about a week ago. When I went to inspect his mouth, I saw all this white, cotton-like material in it and my heart sank. It was insulation. He kept dry heaving, but he was eating and drinking and I kept an eye on him. Friday night, he stopped eating and drinking, peeing and pooping. He is at the vet as I type. He is on supportive fluids, pain medication and they are keeping him under supervision. I managed to capture him dry heaving on video and I took a sample of the insulation in with me today.

He’s already been through so much, I hope this latest journey of his is less traumatic than his first.

The transformation of my home is nothing short of amazing at this point. Although it is still not finished, just walking through it right now makes my heart sing. Before, it was dark, and bleak and in ill-repair. Now it is bright and cheerful and full of promise. I am uploading photos now to share.

I still only have heat in the living room which is also my one studio bedroom apartment. I swear when this is all over, I am never going to eat a TV dinner again! My stove is still not working fully, we keep getting hung up by cancelled appointments from inspectors. Hoping since the holidays are now behind us, this will improve in the coming days. Frozen dinners are no fun.

Because the rest of the house is so cold still, I have caught a massive cold and Kota is beside himself because of it. He has never seen me so ill and every time I get a massive coughing fit- he runs over to help me and he can’t. I just have to push him away until I catch my breath again. It’s been a week of coughing right now and I am so over it. The doctor said I just have to let it run its course.

Since the removal of the tunnels, the under the house kitties are going into the main enclosure. Perhaps the secret of getting them to move was to allow them other escape holes to get through. These, I can’t do anything about but at least they are not open to the bitter winter wind as they are on the side protected by our house. My house now soon to be my home. I will put some photos up..

I’m not sure what I saw removed made me happier- the nasty ugly avocado green-orange-yellow wallpaper or all the scruff marks on the walls from Mike’s wheelchair. I think it was the wallpaper from the 70’s that wins!

I just received a head’s up from a friend who works in a grocery store. Their store is going to be putting up for sale this weekend only- canned cat food- various brands. Although I fully appreciate the tip, there is only $6.00 left in CATS right now. We are completely out of vet debt for the year! YAY! But we also are now down to only 12 cans of cat food. Our weather, much like the nation has been unbearably cold- down into the 20’s and even the teens one night! I have amped up the feeding of the sanctuary cats, especially because right now, their heat sources aren’t as plentiful as they are used to. All the electrical in the carport has been deadened due to a leak. So I keep the rescues warm by giving them wet food\.

Most of you, I am sure are pinching pennies these days. But if you can spare a few dollars during this busy time of year. Our kitties would surely lap it up!

I got through the anniversary that I thought I might not be able to handle. The year anniversary of God reaching out to Michael and taking him home.

This year of loss has taught me so much. I have lost friends, and gained others. I have gotten mad at God and also embraced Him. I know that he is catching my tears and my pain.

I know that I can get through this now. I had my doubts at times. Sometimes the pain was so intense, that I couldn’t breathe. Or so numbing, I couldn’t move.

As always, Molly is sitting on my lap. She is looking at me with her soulful eyes. I wonder what she is thinking? “Congratulations human. You have felt terrified, lost, abandoned and alone. Now, you are truly one of us?”

Truth is, I was never alone. God was with me every step, as were all of you. And for that. I am truly grateful.

Or maybe the memories are chasing me. I’m not sure anymore. This time last year, Mike was failing fast. He had one foot in both worlds, having lively conversations with people long dead. He also reported to me during the last week of his life, that he saw two of me every day.

One Mary Anne, was sitting by his side in the chair by his bed and he saw another “misty image” of me scurrying around the house, cleaning organizing and keeping busy. (I was not in that chair 24/7 until his departure day Dec. 10th). I’m just remembering things with such clarity and not that many tears. I’ve had one meltdown in the last few weeks. Thankfully in private with Kota serving as my tear-catcher.

As my best friend Mo, who recently lost her youngest son to Diabetes told me yesterday- “You think you have a handle on the grief and it won’t carry you away any longer. But then something, some trigger occurs and off you go with your emotions raw and ragged as if nothing can stop your anger, tears, frustrations and “what if’s.”

Everyone who has grieved, does it differently. I have women in my group who were married far less than what Mike and I were, and their husbands have been gone for years and they seem frozen in their grief, stopping their lives. I don’t want to be that person, and I know that Mike would not want me to be that person.

On another note, come Tuesday, the build-up to my home will begin! I am so excited to see it take shape finally after all the destruction that has taken place. They found so many issues while tearing down the walls. Lots of reframing and restructuring had to be done. Now it’s just bringing in the new and hauling away the old. A good start for all.

This kitty, ever since I came home to stay, hasn’t left my side. The contractor joked that they would have to install a cat door in my new bathroom for her. LOL She refuses to let me out of her sight and she is currently in my lap clinging to my left arm as I type.

At night, she has to be up close and purrsonal and I go to sleep with her purrs in my ear. I have missed her and am so happy to report that her diarrhea seems to be a thing of the past. She has been the most amazing cat since she first arrived here and definitely does not have that typical tortie attitude with strangers. She will greet every person who comes into the house and linger at their feet hoping they might just want to scoop her up and cuddle with her.

Although we are not a fully restored house yet- it doesn’t matter to her. She knows it’s it progress and as long as she can keep track of me- she will! Our new roof is on right in time for the incoming storms approaching. We are getting our new gas heater as I type this and my plumbing is back up and working. No more frozen bums in the outhouse. LOL Because my bathroom has been extended, I now even have heat in there. This just suits Ms. Molly just fine. Besides, she stays warm snuggled deep in my lap.