He sits on his recliner more than half the day now. His left hand trembles constantly, at times, the shaking is so severe the kittens attack the fingers thinking them prey.
He can’t see very well anymore so exta lighting has been added to the living room. Several black cat tails got smushed before the lighting was added.
I watch this man and think back to when we met. How active he was, how often his laughter filled the room and I find myself becoming so angry at this diabetic invader who has now claimed the majority of his life.
I can care for the abused kitten, the one pushed down a dry well, or the near-drowning victim at the lake. But, I am powerless to help the man I love except to remember to be patient and loving towards him, even if I have to repeat the same sentence to him every time, or clean up his messes around the house.
My mother keeps telling me I am strong, but I don’t feel very strong, or brave. I just feel quite tired most of the time.
This flu doesn’t help the the situation. It has settled in my chest and last night I started coughing and couldn’t stop for several minutes. Kitties who had settled on my chest earlier, flew off in panic and even Gretchen came out of her kennel to stand by me. Mike slept through it all. He didn’t even hear my distress. I can’t help him and he can no longer help me. It makes life here somewhat tenuous at times.