I hate to see my feral cats grow older. I know, the last years of their lives can be difficult because of the trauma they suffered before arriving here causes them to withdraw from all attempts of human comfort. They live on the fringe of feralness without the true aggression of a real feral. I tell people, they are strays with feral tendencies.

For my group, there seems to be a pattern that has emerged over the years. When a senior starts feeling bad, another will pair up with the sick one. That’s my first red flag. This is when, I try all my tricks and attempt to capture the cat, I know to be in danger of being sick. The two will sleep together for awhile, but when the sick one becomes even sicker, the relationship changes to a bad tone. The healthy one, will start mounting the sick one, or will steal the food (if he or she is still eating). They know, that the clowder has a weak member and is in danger. It’s their instinct and how they continue to survive.

They can’t do what a Queen does after she gives birth and discovers a sick kitten in her litter: which is cart them off in the mouth and leave them for a predator to find. So, they go from feral friend to predator. Some reading this may ask how do they know about the sickness. It’s a chemical change that happens. The sick ones emit an odor that is off-putting to the others (or to the Queen). They know that survival lies in getting rid of the weak one. It is survival of the fittest. The way of Nature. Unlike humans, animals do not kill without intention.

That is what is happening now with Misty and Crazy Eyes. This morning, when I went to feed, I was dismayed to find Crazy Eyes mounting Misty. Both are females (spayed). I clapped my hands to break them apart, then went to feed.. When I came back, Misty was lying in the same spot. (Crazy Eyes had scrambled when I clapped my  hands). I watched Mistyclosely. Her breathing was ragged and slow. However, when I tried to approach her, she slowly scooted under the deck and vanished.

With Misty, I have an added issue. She has been here now over 16 years. She paired up with Dash before Dash left us. She saw me scoop her buddy up and take her in the house, never to return. Cats remember trauma. that’s why some of them never overcome their early experiences with humans. Misty was owned by a demented elder who did horrible things to her as a kitten. But what she remembers most is the disappearance of Dash. Letting me close to her right now is not even in her program.

She’s still eating which is a good sign, but she has gone from being robustly healthy, to a scrawny, unkempt, sickly cat in a matter of a month. She “was” a beautiful, long-haired tuxedo kitty.I suspect either kidney issues or even cancer by the look of her. I know that with her, it will be a matter of her not even having the strength to move before I can really help her. This breaks my heart, because I can see that she is in pain, even though she is trying so hard to hide it. I don’t believe she has it in her to make it through another Winter. I hope I can capture her before Fall ends.