First Step Towards Trust

Goblin has been appearing on a regular basis every morning and evening right before feeding. The other day, I knelt down on the ground and opened up a can of food. I gently clicked to him, which is the sound I make with my tongue against the roof of my mouth when I’m feeding. He slowly came to me and allowed me one brief pet. Then he backed away into the bushes. Unlike Twist, Goblin did not try to swat  me or make me pay for this intrusion.

I know that someone either owns him or has owned him. He shows every tendency of wanting to trust but being afraid to take that chance and get hurt again. But he absolutely has no feral tendencies at all. I did notice this morning that Misty was up on my neighbors fence two houses away which is not like her at all. I had to wonder if goblin had something to do with the distance. So I went ahead and set up my trail cam near the feeding platform to see if I could figure out why this new behavior of Misty is showing up.

For the first time in five years, Little Creek at the back of our property is now flowing. It’s not flowing very quickly, the water is not stagnant but there isn’t a lot of it yet. But we have 15 days of predicted rainfall. My hope is the creek will fill and start to travel bringing back the fish the frogs the salamanders and all the other life that used to hang around in the waters. I really miss the beavers. They have abandoned their dam years earlier. If the water does come back full force I’m hoping they will rebuild their home and take up residency again.

I am learning to be self-sufficient once again when it comes to things going wrong here that need fixing. I am relying heavily on YouTube for problem-solving. I feel a great deal of satisfaction (although some might think it odd) my gutters needed cleaning so badly and I have successfully managed to clean out all of my gutters and it is amazing to me because I suffer from such a fear of heights. I did it as safely as I could. Thankfully staying off of the tall extension ladder and I am happy to say that all my gutters are cleared out just in time for the next downpour

Kota is doing a bit better  he seems to be having more energy and is getting interested in life again. I am supposed to be giving him a bath every week, but I realized three weeks into this process with yet another new shampoo that this was exacerbating his problem of losing hair. So I have stopped the weekly shampoos

Instead I lean on him to tell me when he is uncomfortable and needing ointment put on his belly and legs  If I see him sleeping on his back with his legs straight up in the air, that is my clue to grab the Nystatin and rub him down. Another signal is he gets these really bad blister-type sores under his legs  The ointment will cure the problem but the problem will reoccur  when I see him laying on his side and wrapping his one leg around the other to keep it off the ground, that’s when I grab more ointment and apply it.

December 21 is when we go to the specialist. It was the earliest appointment they had.

I am still missing my husband, but my path in grief is now in healing. There are no more gut-wrenching sobbing moments where I lose control and can’t stop myself from crying. (Can’t say I’m sad to see that part of it disappearing). It has been replaced with a realization that what happened to him was the best thing that could possibly happen because of the amount of pain he was in towards the end.

My oldest stepson called the other day and we talked for quite a while which is unusual because David does not like to talk on the phone. Because this is the time of year when it was all coming down on top of everybody. He just wanted to talk about his dad. I found myself sharing with him the final moments with Michael. As I told him what took place, I told him he didn’t need to share it with his brothers or his sister but I just wanted someone to know how Michael spent his final hours  Dave is the family historian and I didn’t want something to happen to me without letting Dave know how peaceful Michael’s final day was for him. I believe I was able to give Dave a smidgen of peace and I hope it brought us closer together in the sharing.

well I hear the thunder starting. I need to get off my couch and go feed the cats and turn on cat beds so they will be warm and toasty tonight. I ran an extension cord out from the house to the barn and plugged in several cat beds and weather is supposed to dip down into the 30s in the next few nights. Not exactly sure what that’s going to do with my electric bill  Time will tell. Right now I am feeding on the dry food because that’s all I have. But my cats are not suffering and we’re not even into winter yet although it feels like we are.

Love to all who drop by to read this blog. Stay safe, love each other fiercely and hug those furry ones who desperately need you

 

 

1 thought on “First Step Towards Trust

  1. Ha! I too think it a minor triumph when I manage to repair or install something myself. I wish I’d learned to be handy when younger. But then, I – like millions of others – figured I’d have a life in which others would be doing all the hard stuff! But as Red Green would say on his tv show, “If women can’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”

    I’m glad that Kota is getting better, bit by bit. That’s a tough road for him, and few others would have walked it with him but you. As for Goblin, he is probably abandoned, since he comes for food, which is probably one of his few sources.

    And I’m pleased also that life without Michael is becoming more bearable for you. Humans can heal from almost anything, but each human has her own schedule and method.

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