The enormity of it all

I have sat back in the last few days is stunned silence, praying for the people in Newtown and avoiding the television because the tears won’t stop flowing.

When I lost my son Jeremy, the loss was unbearable and he was only 18 hours old. I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to lose a child you have touched, hugged, loved and invested time and passion in. I know God must do splendid activities with these angels unaware but it doesn’t stop the ache I feel deep inside.

And yet, the earth still revolves, life continues to cycle and we just have to find a way to keep going in the face of such evil. I fear that unless more people return to the basic Bible values and learn to love everyone that more evil will be showing up soon.

Cyclone took a turn for the worst and I once again raced him to the vet where he spent three iffy days trying to survive. They put a feeding tube inside of him and kept him going. He is back home now, no feeding tube needed- he is weak, but he is a fighter and he is still with us and I am grateful. He just stopped eating, no reason, no alarming bloodwork, urine was good- he just didn’t want to eat. Now, he is eating- deli-sliced chicken and cream cheese balls. I am grateful he is eating but wish his menu items were a bit easier to obtain. It has to be the fresh sliced chicken not the type that comes in the package. Silly kitty-

He lost a pound a day and once again the vets are puzzled and are chalking it up to either something bacterial or viral.

When he first arrived here and I gave him fluids, he would turn into a sprinkler. Now, he is returning the favor and turning my fingers into sprinklers when I give him fluids as he bites quite hard!

Clarity and her kittens are coming along. They will come out to eat when I am in the room and as much as I want to hug the babies, I don’t make a move. Just sit on the floor so they can get used to my presence. Clarity will go in this week to be spayed- she is getting quite fat and I don’t think it is because of the groceries!

Her coloring is stunning it is almost a lavendar color when the light hits it right. She will have to go to a home where they have no other cats though as she won’t even let the other cats near her door- of course that could be her mothering instincts taking over and the spay may calm that down.

We had a wild storm last night and this morning there is no sign of the barn cats anywhere. We have trees down and another storm waiting offshore. I am grateful the roof is still attached.

Mike is starting to feel pain in his legs now. The pump seems to be working and itis a mixed blessing. What he is feeling, the doctor told me Friday is phantom pain from the amputation but he also has an infection going on so they put him on antibiotics. For him walking is strange because he feels his feet for the first time in years and says it is hard to walk because it hurts so much. I just keep telling him, we will just take it one step at a time and just thank God it isn’t worse.

Hug your children tight and give your kitties an extra rub or two. There is sadness this holiday season and so many families have to learn how to say goodbye to loved ones big and small.

2 thoughts on “The enormity of it all

  1. I’m glad Cyclone is back home. I’ve always wished that cats were born with feeding tubes already “installed.” Anorexia is one of the worst problems we face with our cats. So happy that he has your love to keep him going.

  2. Such a terrible thing to lose children at any time but, as Dickens writes in “A Christmas Carol”, it’s at this time of year that want is most keenly felt. The saddest thing about this event is that nothing will change. Politicians will yammer on and on and do nothing because they are afraid of losing votes. As always, the selfishness of those in power is the only winner.

    But I too am glad that Cyclone is back home. Who knows what he contracted in the wild. He was out there a long time, and the years have left their mark. I hope he only continues to improve now. That boy can use an easy retirement.

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