Trying to stay off my foot has proved challenging when so many depend on my being healthy. But I have done my best to rest my foot and come this Weds when I go back to the doctors office, I will find out if I have done enough. They did pull three pieces of plastic out of my foot on my follow-up visit but the doctor fears there is more inside. I was not brave getting shots in my foot-and they went as far as they could go before I begged them to stop. I was a real wuss.
On Tuesday, we start laying traps for the feral cat colony and Saturday is transport day so I am hoping all the cats will be captured so the colony stops multiplying. Every time I visit there, I see more cats. It’s pretty disheartening to say the least. I’ve only managed to raise a few hundred dollars towards the spays/neuters and I hope it is enough to get the job done.
My mother has been calling me daily, and telling me she wants to die. It’s hard to hear a parent that is so miserable in her life that she wants to end it. She wants me to research the Oregon Right to Die law and if she qualifies, she wants to move here to end her life. The law is written to provide the end of life to terminally ill people, not just people who want to die because they are so unhappy.
She doesn’t tell my other two sisters all this sad stuff- just me. I know she is getting older- she just turned 90. She said she just wants dignity to die and life for her isn’t worth living anymore. She is slowly losing her grip on sanity- she keeps saying people are robbing her of her checkbook, purse, ss card etc…Then it turns out she has everything she reported stolen still in her room. It’s hard to know what to do. I know she misses Dad and wants to join him- but really she is pretty good health for her age My older sister will go and see her next month and I hope she can figure out what to do. Mother lives in an independent living quarters at the moment.
Mike is still in the hospital- it is going on three months now He got a cold which morphed into pneumonia. He can’t move around to much so he is pretty miserable as well. Seems to be a theme among those I love lately. I miss him a lot and only manage to see him once a week.
My mother did the same thing to me for many years, so I know where you’re coming from. Some days she was just fine, some days she wanted to die. I know she was lonely — she lived with one of my sisters, but my sister would be gone all day (she didn’t work, but would go shopping daily, leaving my mother at home alone). I offered to have Mom live with me, but she didn’t want to leave the city she was living in. Then I offered to look for an apartment or a house for her and she refused. I suggested Assisted Living and she said she didn’t want to live with a bunch of old people… I finally just gave up and would sympathize with her, but quit offering solutions, since she refused all of them. She would call me seven or eight times a day — sometimes I just let the phone ring. I went on anti-depressants in an effort to handle the stress — don’t do that! — now that my mother is dead, it is taking me years to wean off the anti-depressants and the side-effects are horrible.
Is there anyone, a friend or a relative, who can visit your mom and improve her spirits? Unfortunately the relatives we had living in her city would tell my mom all their problems and hint around that they needed money. Sometimes she would give it to them, other times she would ask me to intervene and to tell them to quit asking her for money. I just couldn’t win…
I do sympathize with anyone going through this kind of scenario with their elderly parents, but there is no good answer to the problem — unless you just change your phone number. And I couldn’t do that…. although I did seriously consider it. Try to stay positive, if you can. We’re all pulling for you with love.
Mary Anne, lots on your plate! I know what you are feeling.. My Mom is 87 yrs old and all I hear is that she wants to die.. I know how depressing it can be. Hang in there.. Hope your foot feels better soon.. I was starting to worry about you since you hadn’t posted!! Good thoughts for Mike that he feels better soon! 🙂
I hope things improve for you soon. I wish there was more that could be done. You are doing all you can in every direction. That may not seem like enough, but it’s more than many could do.
Is there a rescue and/or humane society near by from whom you could borrow traps?