This morning, against my wishes. They discharged Mike from the hospital. To the end of the discharge time, I fought with them to PLEASE let my husband go to a nursing home until he is stronger! I was told the same thing repeatedly: “We asked him if he wants to go into a nursing home and he said NO, he wants to go home. We can’t force him to go.”
So I went to pick him up. I was so frustrated with him at that point, but I took him home and guess what? He fell! In the driveway getting out of the truck. I had to call 911 because I can’t pick him up. 4 paramedics arrived to do the job and they ended up having to use a harness type apparatus on him and then put him on a gurney. At my insistence, they loaded him into the truck because I wasn’t listening to his excuses. He was going back to the hospital.
Once there, he was so weak, he had to have help to get out of the truck and into the wheelchair and then unable to even get from the chair to the bed, they had to harness him to this chair lift and put him in. His blood pressure was high, his breathing erratic, his oxygen was barely registering, they put him on 02 and admitted him back to the hospital.
I knew this was going to happen and of course when I asked him on the way home why he told them he wouldn’t go to a nursing home, he said he never said that to them. He said he told them he would go. So I guess 9 professionals were just lying to me then?
That all sounds too stressful. I hope that they are able to communicate better with you and work out how things will move forward with your husbands care.
Julie
Can social work get involved, clearly you need respite and mike needs a lot of care.
I hope I am not out of line here. It is a sad situation, Mary Anne, no question about it. But, in defense of the hospital staff, if Mike was confused about paying bills is it not possible that he was confused about this? He may be telling you what he thinks you want to hear because he loves you and doesn’t want to upset you. He is so frail, his condition is so serious, you cannot lift him if he should fall, then home is not a good place for him. I am so sorry you are both having to cope with this difficult situation.
I was so frustrated when I got home last night- that I just typed and didn’t re-read or think about what I was saying. But after getting a few hours of sleep- and talking to two more doctors and a nurse. I think I was in denial. I have known for quite awhile, my man, who was once so brilliant in his field (Calibration Technician) something that isn’t even in existence today. Instead of having people like Mike fix electronic equipment- they just throw them away and buy new. He was even employed by Boeing back in the day and worked on the Minuteman Missile. His mind is slipping away slowly and not to senility, not to Altzheimer’s- but to this diabetes. I’m angry at the disease and realize that I am taking that out on him from time to time. I was a real epiphany for me.
Mary Anne, you are doing the best that you can! Please talk to the support workers that they have on staff; they can help you too. There may be a point where you will take over as Mike’s advocate, and what YOU say goes, not him and not the medical staff. We are here to listen; we want you to be as least stressed as possible. Hugs
Mary Anne, I try to stay in the shadows here as much as humanly possible, and just read and absorb the great advice and funny stories on your blog. I have followed it for years and years because I love and take in, stray and feral cats. I desperately needed the advice. It did me good. What is more, it did my little strays good. That was the whole point of reading.
After reading your latest missive and the comment of Eastside Cats, I must speak. Before I retired a few years ago I was a practicing attorney for nearly 40 years. I am no longer paying bar dues and therefore am not licensed so this is not legal advice. Eastside Cats is not only 100% right, but her advice is imperative. I do not know the legal rules in Oregon regarding care of the infirm, every state has a different set of them. But generally they don’t vary much, and are geared to your exact situation. I know you are a tough cookie. Please do this now!